The eternal optimist within me likes to think there is something momentous or outstanding about each day. Today needs to be magnified exponentially as it is the occasion of my parents’ fiftieth wedding anniversary.Married 10/4/58 – Still Married 10/4/08
When challenged with how to describe such a titanic event, my trick is saying it out loud so I get to the point quickly. Here are some favorite “out loud” stories I like to tell as memorable lessons I learned from my parents.
1. Know when to throw out the rules
My long-time bachelor father had three rules about selecting a wife: he had to like her family, she had to be a good driver, and she had to be a good bridge player. When he married my mother, he had never met her family, and she neither drove nor played cards. Way to go dad. Way to go mom!
2. Do it yourself
I grew up with a dad who could fix or build anything and a mom who could cook or draw anything. Strong memories of dad working are in the woodshop and house, not the law office. Our house is filled with rooms he built, artifacts he carved, woodwork he stained. Strong memories of mom creating are in the kitchen or at the “old family room” table with pastels and chalks. Sometimes it took time to appreciate her fine cuisine. My annual grade school dismay that mom always made rum cakes for the cake walk, quite unlike the other moms’ iced pastel fabrications, turned to pride when her cake was always selected first.
3. Let there be fondue!
Fondue is undoubtedly the iconic meal for our family. A good Riesling, the right combination of Gruyere and Emmenthaler, crusty bread, and some Elizabeth Schwarzkopf music are a recipe for family togetherness by the fireplace. Seriously, unlike many families we grew up with, we ALWAYS ate dinner together (except when dad was at the Hermit Club rehearsing for the Christmas concert). My husband and daughter and I virtually always eat dinner together too. A fine family tradition continued.
4. Speaking the native tongue
My sister and I were lucky to share a bilingual early childhood—German and English. This experience gave good perspective on words and meaning, and I have made a point to learn some of native languages where I have traveled for work—Russian, Bulgarian, Macedonian, Japanese, and a little Albanian. The story of my father meeting his German in-laws for the first time is priceless. A little tale about simply reversing “ie” and “ei.” He was invited to go boar hunting with my mom’s brothers. Schiessen is shooting. My dad, who had some high school german, said he was excited to go “scheissen.” You’ll just have to look that one up!
5. Be comfortable expecting the unexpected on vacation
I need to use a little shorthand here, but my family will know what I mean. Kind of like numbering favorite jokes and then calling out the numbers. Expect on their honeymoon in Ireland, my dad will get thrown from a moody white movie star horse into a pasture with an unknown angry bull. Expect that when everyone else is catching bass off Scudder Dock on Pelee Island, mom will catch a rare bowfin. Expect that my little brother will see our close neighbors in Teton National Park, 2000 miles from home, and act like it’s no big deal. Expect that the sheep will escape from the pasture and run through a christening at Walnut Hill Farm—three times. That was a long christening. Expect that the suitcase holding all of our camping gear will blow off the car in Paige, Arizona, and we get it back. Expect to wear rubber boots and raincoats the entire month we travel to Germany and Holland because it rains—every day—so we pick mushrooms and mussels—every day—instead of swimming. Ok, that’s enough.
6. Bring your own dictionary
It’s virtually impossible to have a conversation with my parents without looking something up in the dictionary or encyclopedia, especially my dad. This affliction has plagued me since childhood, and in fact today, as I took a walk with friends, I flagged three different things to look up when I got back to the house. There are several dictionaries at my parents’ house, which is helpful when several family members want to look up things at the same time. I was proud when I saw my parents’ passing on this vital tradition to the younger generation when we spent nearly an hour investigating the origins of the word of their choice,“booger.” Interesting etymology indeed!
I tried to select fond memories and stories from different time periods during the last 50 years, and what golden memories they are. Thanks mom and dad so very much for sharing these many lovely lessons and family love. My great love to you both. I can't wait to celebrate with you in person next week with the special liqueurs I made from homegrown currants. Love, m
Please join me in celebrating my parents’ anniversary by posting well wishes and thoughts.
